21

Yeah so 30 minutes ago was my birthday. Nothing major, went to mass at my school chapel, spent the day with 2 close friends, treated myself to some me-mw time and had a pleasant dinner with my parents at home. For some reason, though tradition or social media portrays it, I don't feel any big deal about turning 21. Actually, I don't feel anything special about today. The whole run-up to my birthday this year, I wasn't excited or anything. I almost feel pressured to make as much a big deal of it as others who know about it are.

Maybe it's the lack of structure, like in school I can compare and track the dates leading to my birthday. Or maybe it's the depressing feeling of being useless unemployed bum that's sapping my enthusiasm. I'm leaning on the second one. My friend told me the same feeling got to her before she got the job, and she's right. It does get to you.

Nayway, since Operation Writers Block stalled because of my internship and subsequent bummery, and now being tied-down by an assignment in transcription that I am now regretting, I haven't written a while. I have actually started writing some things but haven't gotten around to finishing them yet. Now it's the pressure of delivering the transcript that is so mind-numbing to finish thats hindering me. I'll call it quits after this second one. I've had it with listening to recordings.

Regarding my social experiment that is to wipe my birthdate information from FB to see if anyone will remember at all, I'm surprised that less people greeted me than I expected. More over, minus my 2 friends who I hanged out with and a close guy friend, the greetings I got came from the people I didn't expect them from. An ES friend, my partner that I'm ashamed to say I ditched in CO, and my tita. And that's it. I'm actually surprised, and a little bit hurt actually. Only these people remembered my birthday- though don't get me wrong it warms my heart to receive greetings from them. All the rest of my friends, including the ones I really thought would, didn't remember it without the help of FB. Eh but screw that. At least I know that she still remembered, and that is enough for me today.

Thank you God, for my 21 years, of being alive and being so blessed, for my friends, my family, everyone I know, and everyone I love.