AD 2009

I haven't posted anything recently here, partly because now I'm managing 3 blogs and I just forgot to repost some here, but mostly because I haven't gotten the inclination to update on my personal life, even though so much has happened. I'll mark the start of AD 2009 around the time of ASOG summer practicum. I can't say there was a specific date, but I remember the moment I realized it: at the business lounge at NAIA, when I was staring at a freezer of FREE beer, and I passed it up.

Well you won't understand the significance of that unless you know what I was like 4-6 months before then. I finally understood why people would drink to drown their sorrows; because for some reason it really works. I didn't need to be passed out drunk. Just drinking made me feel better, and being inebriated was just icing on the cake. I would never pass up alcohol and I'll get as much of it as I can. Beer became my favorite drink, and so in that moment where I didn't get the overwhelming urge to grab a cold can and down it on site was significant. A month back and I wouldn't care that it was 5 am - it was free and thus fair game.

It was then that I can say I finally got over it, being with good friends and traveling the country. But then after that, maybe until now, I came to a period that I would put in the words 'meh'. I wasn't interested in anything. My mind was blank. I'm not browsing for anything on the internet. I haven't blogged anything for a while and I'm not making a big deal about the lasts of my college life. I was just going through the motions of daily life. I was NR - no reaction. NR to life. And it sort of made sense, because after climbing out of the rut I dug myself in the past year, I found myself in a psychological plateau, or it’s like after climbing I just dropped dead from exhaustion.

Or if you want the emo version, I felt bad for so long I forgot how to feel anything else.

And so that's the short story of what has happened in my personal life these past 6 months. I'm still, or at least I feel like I'm in the end stages of the meh phase. I mean alot of things has/is happening. Practicum, immersion, first sem of senior year, 21 units, thesis, new friends, old friends, problems, J's problems, and more things that I don't bother to blog about. But let's see. the Bers are starting again and maybe AD 2009 will pick up speed soon.